I have a confession.
Although I've painted and drawn as long as I can remember, I started drawing, in earnest, at the very tail end of 2015. The whole intent was art therapy. See, I have major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ADD, and PTSD. Sounds like a lot. It is a lot. It sometimes feels like I spend most of my time trying to either distracting myself or trying to untangle the mess that is my brain/emotional state. It's absolutely exhausting at times. It's frustrating. I'm constantly questioning whats wrong with me. Why can't I be "normal"? Why can't I have straight thought that isn't interrupted with 15 other thoughts at once? Why can't I relax? Why can't I convince myself to do what I want myself to do? Why can't I be happy without feeling fearful?
This is my everyday.
Then, there's art. Drawing, painting, making music... those are the only things that take those thoughts away. It's like a form of meditation for someone like me who can't seem to sit in silence. Doing these things allows me to channel all my attention into one tangible thing that I can see, feel and hold. I'm so grateful that I've found something that allows me to have these moments of reprieve, but even this comes with complications.
If you look through my instagram feed, you'll notice that I am all over the place in terms of style and subject matter. I do have a definite style in my life, but I have not figured out how to channel that in my art work. And I say "art work" loosely, because I don't really feel like I'm an artist yet, in the same way that it took me forever to be able to comfortably say I was a photographer (and I'm pretty good at that).
So this year, this 2017 year that will probably be a shitter in terms of worldwide issues and american politics, I plan to do my best to channel and hone in on a style that is all mine. Anyone that knows me personally knows how much politics trigger my anxiety and depression, so this is my attempt at creating tunnel vision and a safe bubble for my emotional well being.
The entire month of January, I'm going to concentrate on emulating artists who's style I adore. I've been compiling a list and am pretty excited about it. I'm not going to be copying actual pieces, but will try my hand at taking content I find appealing and translating into different styles that I've never had the guts to try.
If you want to play along, please use the tag #averycuriousyear and make sure to mention the artist you're trying to emulate.