Happy 40th Birthday to me.

From the moment we are born, the seconds are fleeting. We don’t know how much time we’re going to have living here and experiencing all there is to see, taste, touch, hear, and feel. We throw time away as if it’s an endless resource that we have, but it’s not. It’s so little, yet, it is so much. 

With a heart full of gratitude, I am thankful to be me. I am thankful to be here. I am thankful for this precious existence on this marvelous planet that is suspended so perfectly in a galaxy full of stars that is nestled in an infinite universe that I could never begin to understand.

How amazing is it to exist here? How lucky am I to be the biological, chemical, emotional, and spiritual anomaly that I am?

I can’t believe that I get to think thoughts that take me anywhere I want to be. I look outside of my window right now to a tree full of neon yellow and orange leaves that appear like clockwork every single year. They scatter the ground like confetti, as if we’re throwing a big party for the earth before it takes a rest for the winter. One big bash before we all take a much needed moment of solitude. How lucky am I to be part of this celebration?

I am lucky to soak in all the color around me. The sounds birds and squirrels foraging. The smell of the rain and the ocean and the last hint of warmth as is makes a farewell dance across the ground. I am so lucky to see the season change. So many will never see another season again because their time is done.

I am thankful for the love I felt. I am thankful for the love I have received. I am thankful for the sadness I have endured because it means that I cared so deeply. I am thankful for all of the things I have endured that caused me to break down and cry. I am so lucky to have felt things so intensely because it is at these times when you feel most alive. I became alive when I gave birth. I learned how scary yet beautiful love can be. I learned that I am stronger than I ever knew I was. I’ve learned how the line between life and death is a delicate sliver of thin air. I’ve learned that loving someone comes with a great burden of elation and grief and that at someone point, you will feel both whether you want to or not. I am thankful to have felt it all. My sorrows have been a blessing, for through them, I have learned how to appreciate more of myself and my world around me.

I am no wilting flower but a stubborn vine that travels and searches for a solid place to hold to while continuing to grow and move along, leaving a little of myself as a reminder everywhere I have been. 

I am so proud of you, Danielle. I am so proud that you made it out the other side of all you have been through. My wish for you going forward and until the day you die is that you are able to stand stoically through any hardship... that the hardships don’t phase you. That you become like a lighthouse in storms. You’re a light. That you stay honest and truthful to who you are. That you never compromise yourself for the sake of other. That you learn to be brave this year and do something even if it scares you. That you becomes so powerful in your thoughts and ambition that you make your dreams happen.

I want you to be secure. I want you to feel complete. I want you to know you worth and defend it. I want you to see yourself as others do and know that you are loved. Please realize you are loved. I want you to inspire others to feel comfortable in being themselves. I want you to feel comfortable in being yourself. I want you to know how smart you are. I want you to know how beautiful you are, because you are. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you are ENOUGH. You are more than enough. You are brilliant. You are an angel on earth. You are good. You are good inside. You are good outside. You are lovable. You are loving. You are kind. You are hopeful. You are joyous. You are courageous. You are pretty. You are strong. You are fierce. You are independent. You are soft. You are gentle. You are quiet. You are loud. You are a force. You are more than people expect you to be. You are a complicated and beautiful thing. You are perfect in all the ways you are. 

And you deserve to be happy. That is all you can have on this earth. That is yours.